6. Stripes Of Grey
Zooey left us on the 12th of April 2021. She's one of the six cats Nine has been taking care of for the past six years. I only became a permanent fixture at the Cat Palace in the last four years.
When Zooey's condition worsened, she started spending more time with us in the mornings. I think maybe she knew she didn't have very long. It quickly became a routine for Nine and I to drink coffee and read books on the sofa with her snuggled up in between us. It got to the point that if we were even a minute late, she would start to harangue us with her sorrowful meows until we sat down on the sofa with her.
Her sudden absence has now left a gaping hole in our mornings together and breakfast is never the same again.
Zooey was quite shy when I first met her, which in hindsight was very much appreciated because of how terrified I was of cats. But with consistent exposure, I eventually overcame the fear. I mean I didn't have much of a choice seeing that these cats came together with the cat-sitter who I was hoping would notice my efforts as a sign of commitment.
When I did finally muster the courage to pat her, she felt like what I thought to be a peculiar combination of dust and velvet. That day she earned the name - Dusty Cat.
I always thought Zooey was the most sensitive and cognisant of the lot. She was after all the only one who would verbally respond when called. Just for laughs, I would sometimes repeatedly call out her name to see how long before she found me too tiresome to respond. On good days, this could go on for a minute.
Zooey and I had a lot in common, we both liked classical music and shared a deep appreciation for books. Nothing calmed her quite as well as Debussy on our trips to the vet together.
She couldn't read but she was mostly happy just to be able to sleep next to opened books. Sometimes we would inspect the paper together, exchange notes about the smell and texture of the pages. I think we both agreed that the 70gsm, uncoated, off-white paper had the best feel.
Oftentimes, she would curl up beside me to have a cling. When I was reading a particularly difficult paragraph, I would stroke her back for better concentration. It was great for my stress levels and it was strangely comforting to have a roaring purr machine next to me.
In any case, I enjoyed her company. She was courteous, never interrupted and most importantly, never got in the way of my reading.
Most people will be shocked to learn that I am not all that fond of animals. I know it looks like it from the constant photos and videos of the cats on Instagram but honestly I am very selective.
I had a few dogs growing up and it was a pleasant experience but I wasn't particularly wild about them. When we were moving to a different city, I was sad we had to give them away but it also wasn't the end of the world. It was one of those things that was nice to have around but if I had to live my whole life not knowing what it was like to have pets, I'd be okay with that.
I made a decision to stop eating meat after reading Eating Animals. When faced with the argument against animal cruelty, I could no longer look at the animals I live with at home and feel that I am not in some way complicit in the cycle of harm.
I think for the first time after that, my awareness of these cats was hyper-focused and I started to notice, to really pay attention to their movements, the rise and fall of their breath, and the sound of their rumbly bellies when they purred like pigeons.
Five years ago, if a pet died, I probably wouldn't be writing a post about it. But with Zooey, it is different. Maybe it was her quiet and tender presence always having a calm effect on me. Maybe it was her content spirit for the simple things - chin rubs, a bit of crisps - reminding me to be grateful for the little joys in life. Or maybe it's because I've never had a cat after my own heart.
I am forever grateful to have had the privilege of caring for such a loving cat. We think about her every day and miss her dearly. I only hope she knew we loved her like she was our own.
Good night, sweet darling Zooey.
One thing read/listened to/watched:
Death Is Nothing To Celebrate: After Prince Phillip died, there was a great deal of rejoicing in my corner of the internet. Infographics of the racist and vile things he said in the past were being shared everywhere. This article isn’t about that but it does raise some points against mocking someone’s death (no matter how terrible they were) which I am still thinking about. I believe that the monarchy perpetuates harm in our class systems and that it absolutely should be abolished, but to dance on his grave doesn’t sit right with me.
The Opportunist: The perfect binge-listen companion for being stuck in traffic for the past two weeks since schools reopened. I’m a huge fan of true crime/conspiracy theories/cult deep-dives. And this one stood out to me because it steered away from painting people as monsters, investigating instead the circumstances that led to the reasons behind perpetuating certain questionable beliefs. I think they did a solid job for going into it as objectively as possible.
Mdou Moctar - Afrique Victime: I love everything about this track. The anti-imperialist message, the Tuareg guitar stylings, the soulful refrain, and Mdou’s moving backstory of how he had to build his own guitar using wires from the brakes of bicycles so that he could teach himself to play in the desert. A powerful piece of work and possibly one of the best music finds in a while.
That’s it for now, give your pets a hug for me.
Al